The Comprehensive Packing List - Because I'm getting senile, but you might like it too.

 

Camp Packing List

I created this mainly for new campers.  I don't actually pack all of this myself, but I thought a good, thorough check list was in order for everyone.

Don't overcomplicate it with silly words and phrases like "sleep system." You're not going off on a jaunt with Elon to Mars. You're going to the Humble Squirrels State Park. Forget all the bullshit jargon that everyone else is throwing around. They think it makes them sound smarter than they are. They are no smarter than you. Believe me, I've met them. And most of them will freeze at the first sign of a bear, I assure you. They are also the same people that even though they take their cell phone, and their Garmin GPS, and their macbook, they still can't seem to make it out of the parking lot without stopping for mushroom coffee and a wheatgrass sandwich.

In short, you're going camping. At that means roughing it and rolling with it,

Step 1: Make lists. Like these.

• Need to buy   
•  Have To Do
• Check all gear and treat with permethrin/waterproofing if needed 
• arrange house-sitter/pet sitter
• File travel plan

Step 2: Pack.

Camp Kitchen

• Coolers/ice packs

• Food in bins:  canned chicken/roast beef/sauces/rice/cookies/junk/b-fast, etc.

• milk/creamer

• teapot/cup

• tea/coffee/hot chocolate/sugar in canisters

• Spices, olive oil, and butter

• large freezer bags

• Water jugs and WATER

• Mess kits

• Utensils, sporks, knife,can opener, bottle opener

• Pots/pans/tea kettle

• Sponge/loofah for scrubbing

• Camp soap

• trash bins, buckets, etc.

• Trash bags

• Camp stoves and fuel: butane and iso mix

• Table cloth 

Step 2.1 A - have a beer.

Step 2.2 A- Pack some more.

Tent site:

• Tent

• Tarp

• Footprint

• Stakes

• mallet

• Tent lantern

• Other stuff:  Cat litter/bags/pool noodle for camp toilet

• 
  

Sleeping

• Sleeping pad 

• Fleece liner

• Fleece blanket

• sleeping bag

• Pillow

• Lantern

• Broom

• Dustpan

• Dry bags

Step 2.7 C

    Have another beer. Add a dash of turpentine for flavor.

Step 2.4.cd -- going backward.

Ta pek sommore. (did I just write that?)

Special Gear

• Air pumps

• Life straw and water tabs

• Sawyer gear spray

• Headlamp

• First aid kit

• Rope

• Camp Stove cover for heat

• Fire /folding camp stove for emergency

• bungee cords

• Scissors / knife

• Bear spray

• Fire pit

• Fireproof mat

• Waterproof matches/lighters

• Firestarter/sterno etc.

• Fleece Jacket/wraps

• 
  

Bath/Toiletries, etc.

• TP

• Shovel

• Towel, shampoo/body wash (or wipes)

• Deo

• Toothbrush & toothpaste

• Hair brush, hair ties

• Medications and OTC

Step 3F - Oh my God, how much of this stuff am I going to use?  Have a rum and coke this time.  That way it will only be "one." 

Step 15 A:  Pack some more.  The rum sobered me right up!  (Hide the guns.)

Electronics

• Power banks, solar powerbanks

• Charging cables - Universal, C, Micro, and others

• Rig the dash cam/rear cam

• Rig the home cameras

• Batteries for lantern, flashlights, etc.  AA and AAA

Misc.

• Kindle/book - load up a few days prior

• Gun and ammo/ CCW permit

• Audio files - youtube downloads

• Clothes

• Pj’s

• Moccasins

• Steel toe shoes

• bathing suit

• Glasses/ sunglasses

• Side table

• Chairs

• Extra bin for bedside
  
  

Step "12" - unpack. It was all so much fun, you need to go another round.

To buy on the way/ etc

• Gas and quart of oil

• Snack for the drive

• Cash

• Firewood

• Ice

• Other:  lead rounds and snake loads

• 
  
• 
  

A Message From The Matrix

 An emergency note to let people know  that I have been captured.   I'm currently being held in an inter-galactic prison on a planet where people are forced to gather randomly and go to a place called Wal-Mart to worship an evil god, named Sam and other gods with wierd titles like CEO, and CFO, and Treasurer.  It's all very weird, but I have to say it's violent too.  Watching the other prisoners  beat each other nearly to death over some type of worship box is fairly indicative that they have succumbed to an Ear Worm the likes of which you have never  seen.  

This is why I have been out of touch.  They make me work in a place that forces me to make transactions for strange tools, presumably to build wierd looking structures.   I am called a "pawnbroker".  I am enclosing a photo of one of the prisoners holding these tools and looking terrified.  There is also a top-secret photo of me examining a Queen's royal jewels.  Send help!  I want to return to the natural places, and the wide open skies.  Send help - see??? I'm blinking!!!!

  

They make us wear wierd outfits.  SEND HELP!

The Rebel's Guide to Outsmarting Greed-Will and Other Un-Charitable "Thrift" Stores

 

For camping gear, there is no better feeling than walking out of one of these Corrupt CEO dens with a 95% Discount on brand-name camp stuff.  I live for it.  And today, I paid $10 for a NEW NorthFace sleeping bag.  

Corporate thrift stores have perfected the art of getting inventory for the low, low price of zero dollars and selling it back to you at retail prices. Never surrender. You can beat the corporate machine.

Here is your official tactical guide to turning the tables and walking away with a $300 North Face bag for a tenner.

Phase 1: Psychological Warfare (The Art of the Disguise)

Corporate pricing algorithms (also known as a regional manager with a pricing gun and a bad attitude) target recognizable brands. To beat them, you must blend in.

• The "I Don't Know What This Is" Defense: If you find a high-end item, do not look excited. Hugging a North Face sleeping bag to your chest signals value. Treat it like a dusty blanket.
• The Camouflage Technique: Bury your premium finds beneath a mountain of generic, faded 2004 corporate fun-run t-shirts in your cart. Hide the gold under the dross.

Phase 2: Decoding the "Boutique" Trap

Many modern corporate thrift stores now feature a "Boutique" or "Showcase" section where they lock up items that have a recognizable logo, jacking the price up by 400%.

• The Blind Spot Strategy: The best deals are the ones the corporate pricers missed. Look for premium outdoor gear in the bedding section. Look for vintage leather jackets buried in the "Heavy Winter Coats" rack where everything is flat-priced at $15.
• The "Pre-Owned" Paradox: Always look for items marked "brand-new, pre-owned" (like a pristine Igloo cooler). If corporate missed the factory tags, you get a retail asset for pocket change.

Phase 3: The No-Haggle Victory

Unlike a flea market, you cannot negotiate with a corporate barcode. But you can use their own system against them.

• Take the Win and Run: When the cashier rings up a pristine, brand-new cooler for $15, do not haggle. Do not ask questions. Do not make eye contact. Pay immediately, take your receipt, and walk out before the corporate servers realize they accidentally let a good deal slip through the matrix.

The Golden Rule of Modern Thrifting

They get it for free, but with patience and a sharp eye, you can get it for next to nothing. Happy hunting, and may the thrift gods keep corporate blind to your next haul.