An emergency note to let people know that I have been captured. I'm currently being held in an inter-galactic prison on a planet where people are forced to gather randomly and go to a place called Wal-Mart to worship an evil god, named Sam and other gods with wierd titles like CEO, and CFO, and Treasurer. It's all very weird, but I have to say it's violent too. Watching the other prisoners beat each other nearly to death over some type of worship box is fairly indicative that they have succumbed to an Ear Worm the likes of which you have never seen.
This is why I have been out of touch. They make me work in a place that forces me to make transactions for strange tools, presumably to build wierd looking structures. I am called a "pawnbroker". I am enclosing a photo of one of the prisoners holding these tools and looking terrified. There is also a top-secret photo of me examining a Queen's royal jewels. Send help! I want to return to the natural places, and the wide open skies. Send help - see??? I'm blinking!!!!
They make us wear wierd outfits. SEND HELP!
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