A Message From The Matrix

 An emergency note to let people know  that I have been captured.   I'm currently being held in an inter-galactic prison on a planet where people are forced to gather randomly and go to a place called Wal-Mart to worship an evil god, named Sam and other gods with wierd titles like CEO, and CFO, and Treasurer.  It's all very weird, but I have to say it's violent too.  Watching the other prisoners  beat each other nearly to death over some type of worship box is fairly indicative that they have succumbed to an Ear Worm the likes of which you have never  seen.  

This is why I have been out of touch.  They make me work in a place that forces me to make transactions for strange tools, presumably to build wierd looking structures.   I am called a "pawnbroker".  I am enclosing a photo of one of the prisoners holding these tools and looking terrified.  There is also a top-secret photo of me examining a Queen's royal jewels.  Send help!  I want to return to the natural places, and the wide open skies.  Send help - see??? I'm blinking!!!!

  

They make us wear wierd outfits.  SEND HELP!

The Rebel's Guide to Outsmarting Greed-Will and Other Un-Charitable "Thrift" Stores

 

For camping gear, there is no better feeling than walking out of one of these Corrupt CEO dens with a 95% Discount on brand-name camp stuff.  I live for it.  And today, I paid $10 for a NEW NorthFace sleeping bag.  

Corporate thrift stores have perfected the art of getting inventory for the low, low price of zero dollars and selling it back to you at retail prices. Never surrender. You can beat the corporate machine.

Here is your official tactical guide to turning the tables and walking away with a $300 North Face bag for a tenner.

Phase 1: Psychological Warfare (The Art of the Disguise)

Corporate pricing algorithms (also known as a regional manager with a pricing gun and a bad attitude) target recognizable brands. To beat them, you must blend in.

• The "I Don't Know What This Is" Defense: If you find a high-end item, do not look excited. Hugging a North Face sleeping bag to your chest signals value. Treat it like a dusty blanket.
• The Camouflage Technique: Bury your premium finds beneath a mountain of generic, faded 2004 corporate fun-run t-shirts in your cart. Hide the gold under the dross.

Phase 2: Decoding the "Boutique" Trap

Many modern corporate thrift stores now feature a "Boutique" or "Showcase" section where they lock up items that have a recognizable logo, jacking the price up by 400%.

• The Blind Spot Strategy: The best deals are the ones the corporate pricers missed. Look for premium outdoor gear in the bedding section. Look for vintage leather jackets buried in the "Heavy Winter Coats" rack where everything is flat-priced at $15.
• The "Pre-Owned" Paradox: Always look for items marked "brand-new, pre-owned" (like a pristine Igloo cooler). If corporate missed the factory tags, you get a retail asset for pocket change.

Phase 3: The No-Haggle Victory

Unlike a flea market, you cannot negotiate with a corporate barcode. But you can use their own system against them.

• Take the Win and Run: When the cashier rings up a pristine, brand-new cooler for $15, do not haggle. Do not ask questions. Do not make eye contact. Pay immediately, take your receipt, and walk out before the corporate servers realize they accidentally let a good deal slip through the matrix.

The Golden Rule of Modern Thrifting

They get it for free, but with patience and a sharp eye, you can get it for next to nothing. Happy hunting, and may the thrift gods keep corporate blind to your next haul.

Dollar Store and Thrift Store Camping

 I have never, in my life, passed a thrift store or the Dollar Tree for gear.  Below are my latest treasures.

It's been an futile exercise with camp bed tables. Finding the right answer is sort of like standing up in a hammock.  I like having a "nightstand" for my stuff.  I know, I'm a creature of habit.  But for several years now, I have made do with a dollar store basket hold all my stuff.   Not after today.  Behold!  The holy grail of tent tables!  

I found this at the dollar store.   It was $5.  (I know...)  It looks curved in the photo but it's not.  I found it in the children's school section.  If you know what's good, drop everything right now and go see if your local has one of these.  It's even got a "cup holder" for your water bottle.  

And that's not all.  Next door to the Dollar Tree is the local Greed-Will Un-Charitable Store.  (I'm still poor and I can't afford expensive opinions.)  I absolutely scored.  I needed a 20 F rated bag for my next trip.  Brand new, maybe used once or twice as far as I can tell.   $10.  I ran home and washed it, so I can sleep in it tonight with the windows open.  It's too long for me and I will have to shorten it, but I don't care.  That's what luggage straps are for.  It even had the original sack stuffed in the interior pocket. NorthFace Eco Trail  Bed - rated 20F or -7 C. New they run upwards of $200.   I will never doubt God again.