How to Make Real Cowboy Coffee

I make cowboy coffee with eggshells. :) Here is the recipe: - it's the same from all over the internet.

Ingredients:

• Water
• Coffee grounds
• 1 egg, fresh not boiled - never from boiled eggs - you will get sulfur.
• Some say to toss in a little dirt, but I pass on that. It's a joke on greenhorns.
• I do put a dash of salt in the pot after it has been sitting for 20 minutes (old waitress trick.  If you know, you know.)

Instructions:

• Crack the egg and separate the shell.
• Wash the shell thoroughly so there are no remains of the egg white or yolk.
• Cover the shells with a paper towel (to protect your hands) and crush them into smaller pieces.
• Add crushed egg shells to coffee grounds, using a quarter of the egg shell for one cup. (that's what the internet says, but I just throw the whole damn thing in there, and I use a jumbo egg shell. I like brown ones. )
• Brew your coffee as usual.

I don't know what percolator to recommend to you, but I have noticed that at events like Coffee With a Ranger, the Rangers use the old-fashioned, blue enamel percolators from Stansport or wherever. And they always make GREAT Coffee. :) Just look for those enamel pots in thrift stores, or buy one from any sporting goods section at your favorite store. Mine is a Balkan/Greek style pot , copper lined with aluminum (photo below.)


If you buy one used: please boil it in a huge pot of water 3x to remove any oils from previous use. You'll thank me later for this. You should start fresh, and over time, your pot will be "seasoned". To clean the pot: never use soap of any kind. Just boiling water to sterilize it. This way, the oils from your coffee will build a bit to season it. (some people think that's gross. I think it works.)

One last thing: I use Cafe Morro espresso from the dollar store - yes, the dollar store. It's fantastic if you can find it. It comes in a 6 oz brick . Yellow package. I just translate the measurement from espresso to coffee - in other words a heaping tablespoon per 1.5 cup of water. Cafe Morro is ground extra fine, so fewer grounds to stick to your teeth. :)  Of course, cowboys and cowgirls wouldn't really care if they did. ;)

Defining the Act of Camping--YMMV

 There are as many types of camping as there are campers.  But I have found that the best camping experience is the one you define yourself.  This is how I categorise the main types of campers.  

Some categories necessarily delve into the human condition and cause me to take a pause and wonder what can we do as a society to help others.  These distinctions become important when you are faced with a homeless person who is asking how to stay warm at night because they are not familiar with the elements of nature and just got evicted from their home, or cast out of their families.  So yes, these distinctions go into socio-economic conditions in which we all live and depend on for survival.  

Cowboy Camping:

For myself, camping means cowboy camping with or without a tent, with or without a horse.  Some would say that unless you are hiking in and sleeping without a tent, you are not cowboy camping.  I disagree. For me, cowboy camping is about independence, and self-sustainment, with or without a tent (or a horse).  

You take only what you can carry in your vehicle.  It means minimal gear, all with dual purposes, all of which defines cowboy camping.  Bonus points if you sit and look at the stars.  Even if you drove in, it's still cowboy camping.  Cars/Vehicles are the "iron horses" we use to get us where we want to go and in that sense, everyone qualifies, as long as they are self-sufficient, and enjoying themselves. 

Still, many people often do camp with their horses.  There's a special campground near me that is just for them, and it's only $8 per night, per horse.  They count the horse as the main "vehicle" and then charge an extra $5 for actual trucks/SUV's plus the horse trailers.  I wish I could be one of them!

Roma Camping:  

This could be better and more widely understood as "gypsy camping" but I just made it up for the sake of completeness.  The Roma are a distinct people and they are the vardo campers who have evolved with time into the RV sector. Traditionally, a vardo was a horse-drawn wagon and these folks practically invented camping to start with.  

They are called Travellers in western countries of Europe, and here in the States as "Gypsies" a rather racist term I prefer not to use.  Hence, Roma Camping.  The Roma have their own way of life, and their existence has often depended on many rules and regulations they themselves enforce upon each other, in a tribal sense of community.  For example, they will not wash themselves in the same water as they wash clothes.  If they live in a camper or an RV or even a "mobile home" , underwear has to be washed entirely outside of the dwelling.  

They invented camping hygiene.  In some communities, they will take underwear items to a laundromat even if they have a washer/dryer at home.  They are very strict about these rules, and their health often depends on it, if they do not have access to medical care.  They know it and have made it a science.  Kudos to them.

It's hard to find real photos of a real vardo anymore.  

This is an artist's rendition, but quite accurate.

Car camping:  

This is where the aim is to sleep in your car/van conversion comfortably.  This is car camping.  No tent, no camper, no RV hitched.  Literally, camping in your car or van. Bonus points if you take a cool dog with you.

Wild camping:  

Leave it to the Brits to properly define what the Americans are clinically calling "dispersed camping."  Dispersed camping sounds like you are moving every night to a new site for clinical purposes of a study on the effects of swearing on physical pain.  (It was a real study. Look it up.) Maybe you are or not, but to me "wild camping" is the best descriptor for the act of camping for free, in locales that lack amenities, and are off the beaten path. 

Motocamping:

They are on the open road and looking for an escape route.  That's why they have a tent strapped to their back.  Or tucked away in their saddlebags. These folks are everywhere and nobody tells them 'no.'  They are in campgrounds, off on mountain tops with no one else around, and camping wherever they decide to hang their helmets.  (Let them in, while you're toodling down the highway.  Their lives depend on it.)  Ask one of them to show off their tat....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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Photo by freepik

Bicycle Camping:

Mostly they are just like the guys and gals above but they are lighter and are often dreaming of France.  They ride expensive bikes, and their gear is lightweight and ready to go on the spur of the moment.  You never know where they might turn up and they can often go where others have not gone before.  Because their bikes are not really designed to carry their gear, everything has to be carried in their backpack.  Uphill.  Both ways. In the snow....

Photo by ArthurHidden at Freepik

Glamping:  

This is where you literally bringing your entire home with you, whether its a camper, or an RV.  You will also probably have hookups to electricity, and water, as well as the latest and greatest in home theatre equipment, and probably a portable sauna and hot tub.  There's usually an open bar and I don't think anyone will notice if you slip over there and grab one or five.

Van/Car Dwellers:  

This is not camping at all, but rather a necessity now, and a sad reality for many due to the rising cost of housing.  These folks are not  "homeless" in the classical sense, but many are in the category of what used to be condescendingly called "the working poor".  These folks are doing what they do in order to literally survive.  They deserve everyone's prayers and good vibes, as much as the "homeless."  They are usually in cities and towns, sometimes venturing into camping areas out of necessity.  Share some coffee with them if you can.

" Nomads":  

This is a dumb category, but here we are.  These are people who make enough to have a home, but live in their vehicles and travel by choice because they have the money to do so.  In my experience, they are not campers at all and use resources that are better left to the Car/Van Dwellers, and the homeless. They are resource suckers.  But that's just my considered and throughly over-thought opinion.

"Unhoused" - 

This is a dumb term, but okay.  They are not "camping" even given their tent cities.  They are homeless, and they are a large and growing section of the population.  Alarmingly so.  

Most are homeless through no fault of their own, but for time, circumstance, substance abuse, domestic abuse, and lack of financial resources.  Many are children under the age of 18.  

We can argue all day long about the whys and wherefores, but in the end, the fact is these people are suffering.  And it is the aim of human existence to ease suffering wherever it is found.  Why this seems to escape some people is beyond me.  

Human beings should not be left to the mercy of the elements, and lack of medical, dental, eye/vision, and emotional care. This is not humane.  It is barbaric that in the wealthiest countries in the world, and yes, I'm looking at all you Western Europeans as well as the Americans, this is reality for so many.  Homelessness is not a choice.  It is a death sentence.

someone set my favorite local camp on fire

 I am too sad to write or speak of it.

Taken by me, on the first day, Sept. 7, 2024 about 4pm,  from my workplace off South Meadows. 

 2 blocks from the evacuation warning, six miles from the fire itself, as the crow flies.

My Best, True Scary Camp Story

 This really did happen to me.  The year was 2019 and I was just starting out in the camping hobby. I was alone, and I wasn't scared. At all.  I should have been.  

The people I was supposed to go with ditched and never showed up. So, I decided I would strike out on my own. I left the mountain (Mt. Diablo in Northern California) and went down to the lowland, around the river and foothills.

It was a regular campground although it was a little too well used. The website said "here's spot # whatever." So that's where I parked. There were several cars and trucks in the site, and the people were all minding their own business, doing what campers generally do, having a great time.

On the spur next to mine, was a white, dilapidated pickup with a camper shell on the back. The tall kind. The truck itself had last been registered in 1978. I didn't really think much of it. You see that a lot here in this area. Lots of folks live off grid, or in the back country in the desert. It's not unusual.

Anyway, it was almost dark and I was unpacking and busily scurrying around trying to get everything set up so I could start my very first, very own campfire. I had a few hotdogs in my car to eat with a side of guacamole and chips from Del Taco in the last town (Truckee).

This was my actual tent, that I used that day.  It was a Liberty Trail 3 giga tent that lasted approximately 8 hours. In other words, it had no brand and I bought it at Walmart.  I threw it away and bought an Ozark Trail.  That one lasted 4 days.  

Finally, I bought a Night Cat tent and it has been love ever since.

From the corner of my eye, I saw that the camper shell seriously tilted to one side as a scruffy looking older man stepped down onto the ground. He was really tall compared to me - perhaps 6'5. He was skinny. He was white. I didn't think much of that either because we have "all kinds" in this area. No one really judges anyone else , least of all me.

He was wearing jeans, and some kind of old t shirt and something like a plaid over shirt. His hair was wispy, scraggly, and grey.

He was standing there, about 20 - 30 feet away. It seemed like it was so fast, and he plopped down in MY chair, next to MY picnic table, in MY campsite. I'm still about 15 feet away and not very threatening to say the least. I'm about 4'11.

So now, I'm thinking "wait a minute - let me process this shit" as Sam Jackson would say. I don't like this at all. Not at all.

"That's a nice hammer you have...." His voice was like MadDog 20/20 mixed with a little boilermaker of Hennessy and Pabst beer, scraping over granite ice cubes.

It's dark. I can barely see anything with my glasses on but my INFJ senses are out in full blazing flame for those with eyes to see, and I'm reading his mind. (It's an INFJ thing). There was no way for me to run fast enough when he reached for the hammer and grabbed it, holding it up for me to see that he had it.

So I did what any normal, middle aged woman with few options would do: I pulled my taser and let off a few sparks. (It was all I had.) He ran to his truck pissing himself the whole way, and yelling that I was an "offender". He was screaming bloody murder.

I was terrified myself, because of myself. I didn't know I could be that cold and calculated, but my knees were knocking together the whole time. I was just surprised at how clear headed I was and how clear my thoughts seemed to be.

A few men heard the commotion and ran over to my site to help me, and to chase the man off. Yelling and obscenties flying in my defense. I was grateful to them. One of them gave me a side-hug and told me to come with them to their camp for awhile, so that his wife could take care of me.

Our villain finally got his truck started and tore out of the campground. The pavement actually cracked in the heat. I called the Sheriff to report that he stole my hammer and menaced me with it.

Deputy Jones was a perfect gentleman and spent over an hour talking with me and calming me down. He told me funny camp stories. But he also told me something chilling: they would never catch the guy because the homeless were being forced into campgrounds and the BLM (wild lands) due to a lack of services for them in the city and most of them were drug-addled.

He stuck around for a long time and helped me finish putting up my tent. I didn't sleep in it that night. I slept in the back of my SUV with the doors firmly locked.

Before I went to sleep, the kind people who came to my help, fed me and gave me lots of decaf tea, to help me rest. They were truly kind.

I will never forget the lesson. And someday, I will be camping with my cat and my new dog. Not only that, but I know now, how to pay it forward. I will always come running to the help of any camper in trouble. We are never alone. We are always surrounded by good people of all kinds.

Cheap Camping Hacks

The first thing to do is to lower your expectations.  None of these will work as well as the real thing.  But you can "get by" with them and hopefully, they will make your camp life a little easier for at least a couple of days.

Cowboy Cooler

You will need:

• A small styrofoam cooler
• A small plastic tote box 7 gal works pretty well.  OR; 
• an insulated bag.
• Garbage bag
• Towels

1.  Place the garbage bag inside the styrofoam cooler and then place the whole thing inside your tote.

2.  Begin stuffing towels between the cooler and tote on the inside, all the way around.

3.  Fill with stuff and ice.  Keep the lids on or in the case of a bag, zipped up.

   

It should keep for at least two days.

Cowboy Phone Charger

Now, I can't take credit for this.  But I remembered reading about it and it does work.  I've tried it.  You can charge your phone in an emergency with a 9 volt battery, so always keep one and a clickable ball point pen, duct tape, a little aluminum foil and a house key, in your car.

Here's an article that talks about it:

https://defiel.com/how-to-charge-a-phone-with-a-9v-battery/

Failing that, I recommend you get a solar powered phone charger.  I have used them with great success while camping.  You can keep it charged simply by leaving it in the sun.  Mine cost about $14 on sale from Amazon aka The Big A.

Cowboy Fire Starter

This one actually works better than you would expect.  Dip cotton balls into vaseline.  Cover them completely.  The trick is to use 100 percent cotton balls, not the fake ones made of whatever that awful stuff is.

Cowboy Boot and Shoe Hack

For those of us who don't appreciate things that slither and crawl, this is absolutely necessary.  Out here in the west, it's not just about bugs and spiders.  It's about scorpions.  A sting from one these little beasties and you will be flat for a week.

Cowboys would often use sticks put in the ground vertically and put their boots on top of them upside down, to prevent creepy crawlies from getting inside while they were sleeping.  It's not foolproof but it does seem to work. You could use tent stakes.

 Here's a more fool-proof method.

Use dirty socks from your first day that you won't wear again, and put your shoes inside them.  Make sure they are completely covered.  Voila.  No more creepies inside your shoes. This way, you can also keep them in your tent without tracking rocks, mud and other dirt in.

Fix Your Tent Zipper

With soap.  Take a dry bar of soap, and rub it along the zipper.  Make sure it's completely covered, and then try again.  zzzzzzzzzzzzip!  :)

Cowboy Camp Stove

Can't afford a camp stove and fuel?   No problem!  You can make one from a tuna can or any short similar size can and 4 cheap tent stakes (good thing you saved those cheapies that came with your tent).  This does require a beer or something nice to drink.

•   Empty and eat the contents.  Have a sandwich! :)  If you are afraid of eating tuna due to mercury content, for the love of God, give it to a starving cat.
• Here is a picture of a starving cat:

• Take off the wrapping on it.  (the can, not your sandwich.)
• Fill with alcohol and cotton ball firestarter or anything else that will burn.
• Place tent stakes in the dirt, standing up with the curved end inward, all the way around the tin in the center
• Don't hurt yourself - check yourself for cuts and bruises, to make sure you are okay to proceed. Now is the time to relax and have a beer or wine cooler.
• Light the fire in the can.
• Place your pan on top of the tent stakes and cook.  

Snake Rounds And Snake Bite aka Stop Being Stupid

I am the person who is sitting on the edge of your campsite, quiet, and reserved.  I don't offer my opinion until and only if I am asked.  But sometimes there are times when someone has to speak up.  

I hate to talk about this but out here where I live, rattlesnakes are a real danger to everyone. They are plentiful, and help is most often far enough away that it makes sense to just be prepared.  I'm not telling anyone to kill them.  But there are too many yahoos with guns out there using full rounds.

I am suggesting that you speak to a gun smith about snake rounds and have a separate, different gun available for this purpose only, loaded with those rounds.

If you're going to do it, do it right and don't pose a danger to yourself and others.  Using full rounds on a snake is dangerous and ill-advised.  Ask for snake rounds.  I would much rather that a child or anyone live to tell their tale and possibly face fines or whatever myself, than to have a person die on my watch for lack of preparation.  Do not use regular rounds.  Use only snake shot.  And for God's sake take a safety course of some kind and stop running around like a redneck waving firearms like a shield of honor.  It's not.

Now, for the real stuff on snake bites.  Don't cut into it, don't use a tourniquet, and for the love of God, don't "suck it out" with your mouth! This is the year 2024.  Do NOT use a venom pump or extractor.  It is best to simply get the person to civilization as fast as possible.   More, expert information on snake bites and how to survive one, is here:  https://www.snakebitefoundation.org/blog/2018/9/6/how-to-survive-a-snakebite-in-the-wilderness

Out here, that means driving the highway at over 100 mph, and if you get stopped, explain the situation.  The cops will help you and drive you to the nearest hospital.  This is no time to start talking about defunding the police.  

Do not try to catch the snake that bit you.  It's stupid.  Just tell them it was a rattlesnake.  

Where I live, if you get bit by one of these fellers, you had to really work at it and deserve it.  But regardless of who is at fault, don't be stupid. Get yourself to a hospital.  

Great Basin Rattlesnake, the most common where I live.

Photo By Morgan Hansen 

Old cowboys tell the truth....

 

A Great Basin Rattlesnake aka A Nope-Rope

Photo By Morgan Hansen 

Start paying attention because there's a lot of wisdom in what old people say.  Many years ago, before I was even interested in camping, an old-timer Cowboy told me:  Put a length of rough rope around you to get rid of snakes.  The theory is, that the rougher the rope, the less snakes like it.  It deters them when they try to slither over it. 

I lived in the desert at the time, down in Arizona,  and this guy was a little boy when the Cochise Gang (loosely, very loosely friends and comrades of Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch)  and the Clanton Gang rode through town and shot everything up, especially the bank, and the saloon, in that order. 

That was also true! I looked it up at the library and there was his name under his photo.  I decided then and there, that it's sometimes a serious sin to doubt old people.  

Two members of the Clanton Gang, circa 1888.  

Pictured here:  Okeechobee Clanton and William “Curly Bill” Brochius.

So, I remembered him recently on a trip.  I looked over to my left and happened to see a harmless gopher snake.  (They're everywhere around here, and non-venomous.  They're good to have around actually, and eat pests, but I still don't like snakes and definitely do not want to sleep with any.)  

 Then I remembered that old timer and also that I happened to have 4 lengths of 9.5 feet of craft rope at home.  It's completely scratchy and awful and it's supposed to be that way to look rustic.  I had purchased it for a craft project I later abandoned. I bought it at the dollar store.  Yes, $1.25 each bundle.  

I decided to tie the lengths together to make an anti-snake rope for my next trip.   I will report back on my results.

 Four lengths of it, at 9.5 feet, made approximately 37 feet of usable length of rope for $5.  That's enough to go around my tent.  Twice. Almost 3 times.  Perfect.

Here it is:

Git to it, greenhorn!  :)

How To Make a Simple Fleece Liner - (Almost) No Sewing In 3 Steps or Even NO SEWING!

They say a fleece liner will add 12-15 degrees (F) to your sleeping bag for warmth.  I don't really know if that's true, but by God, I hope it is, and I do think my homemade fleece liners work.  And it's free - well, almost.  You still buy the stuff. But my directions are free, and that counts for something with MYOG Gods.

So here you go.  In case you can't read my handwriting, I have transcribed it below.   Feel free to screenshot and print, or whatever it is you do.  To make a wider blanket, scroll to the bottom.  This one is for 29.5 inches wide which will fit most standard sleeping bags.  It's important to note, that you can make this even if you don't sew, or dont' have a machine.  The variation for this is listed below! :)

NOTE:  Huge mistake I made in this graphic:  Under tips, I wrote "Wrong sides together".  It should be RIGHT sides together - duh.  Sorry.  I just got mixed up.  Anyway, just put the RIGHT sides together so that you are sewing on the "wrong side".  That way you can turn it inside out and it will be the right side out.  See what I mean, jelly bean?

Materials :

1.  Fleece fabric - 60" wide, cut to any length you want.

2.  Size 12 "Universal" machine needle - any brand.

3.  Thread - I like standard polyester but you decide, and scissors

Tip:  Machine Settings if you know what I mean.  Otherwise, just stitch away and fuh-getaboutit.

        Stitch length - 2.5

        Stitch type:  Straight or Zig Zag - your choice.  

        Note:  Variations:

• You could also just overcast the edges if you prefer using a zig zag stitch or have a serger.  
• If you do not have a sewing machine, or simply don't like to sew, you don't have to.  Just follow Step 3 on the bottom, around to the side, and then all the way up.  No sewing needed!

Step 1:

- Fold the fabric length-wise - tip:  with the right sides together so that the wrong side is facing up.

- Stitch the bottom - Tip:  I would stitch 1/4 " or less from the edges, using a straight stitch at 2.5 length setting on your machine.  This will give you maximum room on the inside of the finished liner and still give you very strong stitched seams.

Step 2:

- Stitch 1/4 of the way up the long side and STOP.

- Turn right side out so that the stitching/seams are on the inside.

Step 3:

- Straighten the liner completely flat and cut into both layers, about 2 " strips the rest of the way up.  Stop when you feel like it.

- These strips can be tied together to keep it closed while you are sleeping. 

- Open and untied allows you to get in or out of it.

Voila! 

Cheap fleece liner and you just saved yourself about 30-50 bucks.

Happy Sleeping!

(And if you think this is silly, here is a picture of a cat in a fleece blanket.)

VARIATIONS!

(Because there is always that one person who wants to be special.)

Okay, so you CAN make a wider blanket.  But the problem is, that standard fabric only comes in widths of 40, 58 and 60.  I am using a 60" width length of fabric.  

Here's what to do, to make your liner larger/wider.  Do everything above but you are going to add a step to Step 1.  We will call it Step 1.A - v. 2.0 just to make it complicated.

You will need to add a strip to each long edge BEFORE you start anything else.  To do this, simply add those strips and stitch all the way down each side.  You can do this with any size strip as long as it reaches the total length.  So, when you're done, this strip will be sewn to each long edge.  THEN continue the steps above.  You can make it as wide as 40 inches if you want.

You can also make a simple 60" wide, but layering two 60 " pieces of fabric together.  Then sew ALL THE WAY on one side, along the bottom and then 1/4 way up the other side.  And then continue with the strips as above.  

Allright, so we are done now.  Go snuggle with your cat.

Unless you want to see the video and here it is: