Cheap Camping Hacks

The first thing to do is to lower your expectations.  None of these will work as well as the real thing.  But you can "get by" with them and hopefully, they will make your camp life a little easier for at least a couple of days.

Cowboy Cooler

You will need:

• A small styrofoam cooler
• A small plastic tote box 7 gal works pretty well.  OR; 
• an insulated bag.
• Garbage bag
• Towels

1.  Place the garbage bag inside the styrofoam cooler and then place the whole thing inside your tote.

2.  Begin stuffing towels between the cooler and tote on the inside, all the way around.

3.  Fill with stuff and ice.  Keep the lids on or in the case of a bag, zipped up.

   

It should keep for at least two days.

Cowboy Phone Charger

Now, I can't take credit for this.  But I remembered reading about it and it does work.  I've tried it.  You can charge your phone in an emergency with a 9 volt battery, so always keep one and a clickable ball point pen, duct tape, a little aluminum foil and a house key, in your car.

Here's an article that talks about it:

https://defiel.com/how-to-charge-a-phone-with-a-9v-battery/

Failing that, I recommend you get a solar powered phone charger.  I have used them with great success while camping.  You can keep it charged simply by leaving it in the sun.  Mine cost about $14 on sale from Amazon aka The Big A.

Cowboy Fire Starter

This one actually works better than you would expect.  Dip cotton balls into vaseline.  Cover them completely.  The trick is to use 100 percent cotton balls, not the fake ones made of whatever that awful stuff is.

Cowboy Boot and Shoe Hack

For those of us who don't appreciate things that slither and crawl, this is absolutely necessary.  Out here in the west, it's not just about bugs and spiders.  It's about scorpions.  A sting from one these little beasties and you will be flat for a week.

Cowboys would often use sticks put in the ground vertically and put their boots on top of them upside down, to prevent creepy crawlies from getting inside while they were sleeping.  It's not foolproof but it does seem to work. You could use tent stakes.

 Here's a more fool-proof method.

Use dirty socks from your first day that you won't wear again, and put your shoes inside them.  Make sure they are completely covered.  Voila.  No more creepies inside your shoes. This way, you can also keep them in your tent without tracking rocks, mud and other dirt in.

Fix Your Tent Zipper

With soap.  Take a dry bar of soap, and rub it along the zipper.  Make sure it's completely covered, and then try again.  zzzzzzzzzzzzip!  :)

Cowboy Camp Stove

Can't afford a camp stove and fuel?   No problem!  You can make one from a tuna can or any short similar size can and 4 cheap tent stakes (good thing you saved those cheapies that came with your tent).  This does require a beer or something nice to drink.

•   Empty and eat the contents.  Have a sandwich! :)  If you are afraid of eating tuna due to mercury content, for the love of God, give it to a starving cat.
• Here is a picture of a starving cat:

• Take off the wrapping on it.  (the can, not your sandwich.)
• Fill with alcohol and cotton ball firestarter or anything else that will burn.
• Place tent stakes in the dirt, standing up with the curved end inward, all the way around the tin in the center
• Don't hurt yourself - check yourself for cuts and bruises, to make sure you are okay to proceed. Now is the time to relax and have a beer or wine cooler.
• Light the fire in the can.
• Place your pan on top of the tent stakes and cook.  

Snake Rounds And Snake Bite aka Stop Being Stupid

I am the person who is sitting on the edge of your campsite, quiet, and reserved.  I don't offer my opinion until and only if I am asked.  But sometimes there are times when someone has to speak up.  

I hate to talk about this but out here where I live, rattlesnakes are a real danger to everyone. They are plentiful, and help is most often far enough away that it makes sense to just be prepared.  I'm not telling anyone to kill them.  But there are too many yahoos with guns out there using full rounds.

I am suggesting that you speak to a gun smith about snake rounds and have a separate, different gun available for this purpose only, loaded with those rounds.

If you're going to do it, do it right and don't pose a danger to yourself and others.  Using full rounds on a snake is dangerous and ill-advised.  Ask for snake rounds.  I would much rather that a child or anyone live to tell their tale and possibly face fines or whatever myself, than to have a person die on my watch for lack of preparation.  Do not use regular rounds.  Use only snake shot.  And for God's sake take a safety course of some kind and stop running around like a redneck waving firearms like a shield of honor.  It's not.

Now, for the real stuff on snake bites.  Don't cut into it, don't use a tourniquet, and for the love of God, don't "suck it out" with your mouth! This is the year 2024.  Do NOT use a venom pump or extractor.  It is best to simply get the person to civilization as fast as possible.   More, expert information on snake bites and how to survive one, is here:  https://www.snakebitefoundation.org/blog/2018/9/6/how-to-survive-a-snakebite-in-the-wilderness

Out here, that means driving the highway at over 100 mph, and if you get stopped, explain the situation.  The cops will help you and drive you to the nearest hospital.  This is no time to start talking about defunding the police.  

Do not try to catch the snake that bit you.  It's stupid.  Just tell them it was a rattlesnake.  

Where I live, if you get bit by one of these fellers, you had to really work at it and deserve it.  But regardless of who is at fault, don't be stupid. Get yourself to a hospital.  

Great Basin Rattlesnake, the most common where I live.

Photo By Morgan Hansen 

Old cowboys tell the truth....

 

A Great Basin Rattlesnake aka A Nope-Rope

Photo By Morgan Hansen 

Start paying attention because there's a lot of wisdom in what old people say.  Many years ago, before I was even interested in camping, an old-timer Cowboy told me:  Put a length of rough rope around you to get rid of snakes.  The theory is, that the rougher the rope, the less snakes like it.  It deters them when they try to slither over it. 

I lived in the desert at the time, down in Arizona,  and this guy was a little boy when the Cochise Gang (loosely, very loosely friends and comrades of Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch)  and the Clanton Gang rode through town and shot everything up, especially the bank, and the saloon, in that order. 

That was also true! I looked it up at the library and there was his name under his photo.  I decided then and there, that it's sometimes a serious sin to doubt old people.  

Two members of the Clanton Gang, circa 1888.  

Pictured here:  Okeechobee Clanton and William “Curly Bill” Brochius.

So, I remembered him recently on a trip.  I looked over to my left and happened to see a harmless gopher snake.  (They're everywhere around here, and non-venomous.  They're good to have around actually, and eat pests, but I still don't like snakes and definitely do not want to sleep with any.)  

 Then I remembered that old timer and also that I happened to have 4 lengths of 9.5 feet of craft rope at home.  It's completely scratchy and awful and it's supposed to be that way to look rustic.  I had purchased it for a craft project I later abandoned. I bought it at the dollar store.  Yes, $1.25 each bundle.  

I decided to tie the lengths together to make an anti-snake rope for my next trip.   I will report back on my results.

 Four lengths of it, at 9.5 feet, made approximately 37 feet of usable length of rope for $5.  That's enough to go around my tent.  Twice. Almost 3 times.  Perfect.

Here it is:

Git to it, greenhorn!  :)

How To Make a Simple Fleece Liner - (Almost) No Sewing In 3 Steps or Even NO SEWING!

They say a fleece liner will add 12-15 degrees (F) to your sleeping bag for warmth.  I don't really know if that's true, but by God, I hope it is, and I do think my homemade fleece liners work.  And it's free - well, almost.  You still buy the stuff. But my directions are free, and that counts for something with MYOG Gods.  Here is a video of it, and below are my badly written, terribly drawn, instructions.

So here you go.  In case you can't read my handwriting, I have transcribed it below.   Feel free to screenshot and print, or whatever it is you do.  To make a wider blanket, scroll to the bottom.  This one is for 29.5 inches wide which will fit most standard sleeping bags.  It's important to note, that you can make this even if you don't sew, or dont' have a machine.  The variation for this is listed below! :)

NOTE:  Huge mistake I made in this graphic:  Under tips, I wrote "Wrong sides together".  It should be RIGHT sides together - duh.  Sorry.  I just got mixed up.  Anyway, just put the RIGHT sides together so that you are sewing on the "wrong side".  That way you can turn it inside out and it will be the right side out.  See what I mean, jelly bean?

Materials :

1.  Fleece fabric - 60" wide, cut to any length you want.

2.  Size 12 "Universal" machine needle - any brand.

3.  Thread - I like standard polyester but you decide, and scissors

Tip:  Machine Settings if you know what I mean.  Otherwise, just stitch away and fuh-getaboutit.

        Stitch length - 2.5

        Stitch type:  Straight or Zig Zag - your choice.  

        Note:  Variations:

• You could also just overcast the edges if you prefer using a zig zag stitch or have a serger.  
• If you do not have a sewing machine, or simply don't like to sew, you don't have to.  Just follow Step 3 on the bottom, around to the side, and then all the way up.  No sewing needed!

Step 1:

- Fold the fabric length-wise - tip:  with the right sides together so that the wrong side is facing up.

- Stitch the bottom - Tip:  I would stitch 1/4 " or less from the edges, using a straight stitch at 2.5 length setting on your machine.  This will give you maximum room on the inside of the finished liner and still give you very strong stitched seams.

Step 2:

- Stitch 1/4 of the way up the long side and STOP.

- Turn right side out so that the stitching/seams are on the inside.

Step 3:

- Straighten the liner completely flat and cut into both layers, about 2 " strips the rest of the way up.  Stop when you feel like it.

- These strips can be tied together to keep it closed while you are sleeping. 

- Open and untied allows you to get in or out of it.

Voila! 

Cheap fleece liner and you just saved yourself about 30-50 bucks.

Happy Sleeping!

(And if you think this is silly, here is a picture of a cat in a fleece blanket.)

VARIATIONS!

(Because there is always that one person who wants to be special.)

Okay, so you CAN make a wider blanket.  But the problem is, that standard fabric only comes in widths of 40, 58 and 60.  I am using a 60" width length of fabric.  

Here's what to do, to make your liner larger/wider.  Do everything above but you are going to add a step to Step 1.  We will call it Step 1.A - v. 2.0 just to make it complicated.

You will need to add a strip to each long edge BEFORE you start anything else.  To do this, simply add those strips and stitch all the way down each side.  You can do this with any size strip as long as it reaches the total length.  So, when you're done, this strip will be sewn to each long edge.  THEN continue the steps above.  You can make it as wide as 40 inches if you want.

You can also make a simple 60" wide, but layering two 60 " pieces of fabric together.  Then sew ALL THE WAY on one side, along the bottom and then 1/4 way up the other side.  And then continue with the strips as above.  

Allright, so we are done now.  Go snuggle with your cat.

Unless you want to see the video and here it is: